Skip to main content

HOLD ON


I almost gave up, thinking I couldn’t take life anymore, but I heard a voice telling me to be still. There’ve been days when I fell so sick, so sick that I felt like it was the end. So sick that I wondered why I was brought to this earth in the first place. So sick that I couldn’t breathe, so sick I was ready to give up but He told me to hang on. There’ve been days when depression weighed me down. I felt I had no reason to be happy. I felt that life wasn’t working as it should. I felt like I had had enough of life, family and friends. I felt like dying (if only dying was the solution to depression). I felt so out of this world.
I began to wonder if someone was really up there or whether I was the one being so insane to think that there was a big man living in the sky and controlling the earth. Because if there was really someone up there, all these bad things wouldn’t have happened. She wouldn’t have died, I wouldn’t have had a blocked chest….. She wouldn’t have died just like that; she would have had a second chance to live.
All my prayers seemed unanswered, so I stopped praying. I thought “why pray when nothing will change?” I was gripped by unbelief because I felt that having hope and expecting answers to any prayer was a hurting experience I didn’t wish to pass through anymore. Why have faith when it would not bring the dead back to life, and “what will be will be” (nothing could be changed)?  I questioned everything and everyone. I lost faith in everything and everyone. All I wanted to do was live a day at a time; no more hopes or future expectations because they can make you mad and sad.
But then, I heard a voice and it told me to be still and behold my salvation; that my life is worth more than gold, that I should have faith and be happy again.
That voice just asked me to HOLD ON!
Hold on because you didn’t come this far to give up!
Sina_Taylor.
Labels:

Comments

  1. Dona9 September 2015 at 23:57

    Really...u've done some really cool stuff...kinda got reminded of an article of a young chimamanda adichie I saw

    ReplyDelete
  2. kenrich10 September 2015 at 21:14

    I love write-ups even though I don't have the talent. Keep up the good work Christie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Taylor Christiana11 September 2015 at 17:52

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Add your comments here

Popular posts from this blog

I Blame Myself

One empath struggle I constantly battle with is always feeling responsible for how I am treated by others. When someone does or says something hurtful to me, my first thought is that I caused it. "If I had respected myself enough to establish boundaries, X wouldn't have had the audacity to do this" "If I had worked harder on my career, I wouldn't be here to receive X treatment" The crazy list goes on... Once in a while I speak up immediately but most of the time I blame myself. I always expect more from myself and feel I shouldn't have put myself in a position to be hurt. Writing about it now makes me realize how hard I am on myself. It just doesn't make sense to be hard on the one person that you have. The one who's been with you true thick and thin - YOURSELF. How hard can it be to be kind to yourself?
1 comment
Read more

2021.

The prodigal son is back again. I have no idea why I keep ghosting you. I hope I stay this time.  A lot has been happening, one minute I am optimistic about life and the next I doubt my life choices.  Although I know I have made more of good choices, I can't help beating myelf up at every mistake.  Making mistakes make me feel like the dog that goes back to it's votim- silly.  Here I am moping about just one error, unable to engage in any useful task. It's funny how I can type here but cannot carry out my writing tasks. Anger is truly semi madness. Pardon my rustiness, it's been awhile I let my feelings out.  
Post a Comment
Read more

I have Proof

I have proof that there's no need to worry about anything. I have proof that God has given us everything we need to live a happy life. I have proof that God gives us everything that is essential to the fulfilment of our purpose. Before I show you my proof. Let me ask, why are you sad, worried and depression? I'm sure your answer probably sounds like "because I DON'T HAVE..."  It's the things we don't have that cause us sadness the most. The things "God hasn't given us" that cause most of us to become depressed.  We somehow have this ideology that our happiness, joy and fulfilment in life is dependent on the acquisition of things that we don't already possess.  "Once I get that degree, I'll be happy and get a good job" We get the degree, only to find out that it doesn't guarantee a good job. We are disappointed but we fail to learn, so we begin the cycle all over.  The next phase might be, "once I get a good job, I...
Post a Comment
Read more