Rat Race

 Pre-varsity -

 I wanted to go to Oxford or Cambridge university 😂. I was so naive and obsessed. Well we know how that turned out. 

 Undergraduate

I was still nursing the idea of leaving - but maybe not Oxford again 😂. I wrote to schools, got brochures-hard and soft copies. 

I wasn't happy with the school I was in, I needed to leave. I was prepared to leave even at my penultimate year.

But I stayed.

NYSC-

I heard you had to get "certifications" from CIPM, NIM, ICAN, HSE, PMP... to be a "perfect candidate". So I got in the race,  I was crazily obsessed. I was in the race to just win, no idea what I really needed the trophy for.

There was the other lane for an MSc too. Who was I not to get into that too? Heard it gives you a better advantage in the society, so they said.🤦🏾‍♀️😂

I worked little and obsessed more on that.

Spent that period just worrying and gazing at the next phase, barely noticing the beauty of the present.

Postgrad

I'm barely halfway in and all I can think of is PhD? Jobs? Marriage? Next phase? 

I didn't even get to celebrate the new phase,  bask in the euphoria of achieving some goals. No emotions shown, no excitement, like I didn't make any sacrifices for the present level. 

I found the next thing to obsess about. 

It's just like I always find the next big task to place on myself and when it's done I don't even celebrate, instead I run, looking for the next thing. 

Maybe that's why I don't celebrate my birthday and important milestones. Or maybe I'm just a sadist 😂

Now I'm here I wondering what the race was really about.

Covid-19

I'm stopped in my track,  the blow is just huge. I'm slowed down but it's hard to slow down when all I've done for years is work myself mentally and physically. 

I get depressed and sad that my plan for myself is going to be disrupted.  I cried in the first few weeks of the lock down cos being still was unbearable.

However, I learned. I came to my senses, a bit or maybe to a great extent. Now I realise many things, one of is that, I hate Research work🤦🏾‍♀️and I don't enjoy many things on the path I was threading. 

I'm still learning to be still; I'm discovering new and better paths in life. 

So,

Work hard, but when you achieve any goals please celebrate them. I know it might look little compared to all your life's goals, but if you keep postponing the celebration till after you've achieved everything you want in life, you'll never live a happy life. I'm not cursing, it's the truth. 

Lastly, it's important to always ask ourselves why we doing what we're doing. Why am I pursuing this?  This question will save us from a lot of stress and from channelling our energy to unnecessary things.

Osinataylor🙂